Be willing to ask, but …

There's an old saying: "If you don't ask for what you want, you're not going to get it."

The only problem with the "be willing to ask" philosophy is that it doesn't take into consideration the large percentage of the time that you don't get something, even when you do ask or when you feel you deserve it. So, the old saying, if taken literally, can create some frustration.

Any potential frustration, however, can be prevented by including a lack of insistence upon your desired result. In other words, it's terrific, courageous, and important to ask for what you want, but if you're attached to the outcome, you could be in for a long and ongoing series of disappointments in your life. 

The key to becoming less attached to the outcomes of your requests is to depersonalize them. In other words, try to see that more often than not, being turned down has very little to do with you. For example, if you ask for a raise, your request may or may not be possible, depending on factors other than you – your company's budget, the implications to other workers, rules within the department, and so forth.