Let go of fearful thoughts

If you gathered up all the fearful thoughts that exist in the mind of the average person, looked at them objectively, and tried to decide just how much good they provided that person, you would see that not some but all fearful thoughts are useless. They do no good. Zero. They interfere with dreams, hopes, desires, and progress.

Fearful thoughts take many different forms. Sometimes they sound reasonable: “I’m just being careful, so I’m taking my time.” Other times they are tied to your past: “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.” Occasionally, fears are cleverly disguised as being realistic: “Most people fail, so I want to be absolutely sure before I get started.” I could fill page after page with other examples. Yet when you take a close, honest look at every fearful thought, there are threads of similarity. All of them are explanations or rationalizations for why something shouldn’t or can’t work. They are usually justifications for quitting, or for not getting started.

Fearful thoughts hold you back, not some but all of the time.

A critic, especially a fearful one, will look at this advice and say it’s unrealistic, simplistic, and/or foolish. The problem with overcoming these objections is that, on the surface, they sound reasonable. Let me assure you that I’m not suggesting you ignore the facts and take unnecessary and/or foolish risks.

What I’m talking about here are the fears that clearly and directly interfere with your dreams – the fear of rejection, the fear of failure; thoughts like “What will everyone think of me? I might look foolish,” or “I don’t think I can do it, I don’t have the time, or the experience, or the confidence.” These common, ongoing fearful thoughts are the dream snatchers of our own making.

Driving Ahead

Suppose I am driving a very nice car, but I am simply absorbed in the machine only. I have forgotten my destination, where I have to go, and I am busy studying the car. What is the use? You may be driving a good car, but you must know how to reach your destination. That is your main business. Knowing how the car works is secondary. Your main business is knowing how to utilize the car so you can reach your destination. That is intelligence.

So, we have fallen into this material condition, and we are occupying various forms. As long as we are in the bodily concept—thinking "I am this 'car'"—that is ignorance. What is wanted is to think, "I am not this body. I am spirit soul, and I have to utilize this body to go to my destination—the spiritual world—where I can meet the supreme spirit, God, and live in His association." Human life is meant for understanding what the Supreme Lord is, where He lives, what He does, and what our relationship with Him is. To seek to understand these things is called inquiry into the Absolute Truth. That is actual education.

Ask for what you want

It is astonishing what you can accomplish by simply asking for what you want – help, forgiveness, an idea, another chance, a break, or whatever. And not only can you get what you want by asking for it, but often the person you are asking will thank you for taking the initiative.

If it’s so obviously helpful and important to ask for what we want, why do so few of us do it? Once again, the answer is fear. We worry about the outcome. We’re afraid of rejection or a negative response. We might be worried about offending someone or being perceived of as weak, or of taking advantage of our relationship. We may feel we don’t deserve help.

For a multitude of reasons, we allow past negative experiences and/or our own made-up fears to taint our present opportunities.

It’s actually quite arrogant and self-righteous to assume that others aren’t as willing to help. I’m not the only nice guy around. The key in asking for something, large or small, is to be sincere in your beliefs that, deep down, others want to help you. You must approach your request by assuming that the person you are asking is just like you – he or she has an inner longing to be of help to someone.

Once you remove the fear of asking for help, your wisdom and common sense will instruct you when and how to ask.

Facing problems in life

You can be annoyed by problems in life; think about how unfair and awful they are, complaining about them with others. You can remind yourself, over and over again, how difficult life is and how this problem is yet another justification for why you “have a right” to be upset! You can tighten up. Unfortunately, this is the way many people approach their problems.

When you think of your problems as speed bumps on a road, however, they begin to look very different. You’ll begin to expect a number of speed bumps to present themselves during a typical day. Like riding a bike, bumps are simply a part of the experience. You can fight and resist, or you can relax and accept.

As a problem shows up during your day, you can begin to say to yourself, “Ah, here’s another one.” Then, like the bump on your bike ride, you begin to relax into it, thereby absorbing the shock, making it seem less significant. Then you can calmly decide what action or decision is likely to get you over this hurdle in the most effective, graceful manner. The calmer and more relaxed you remain, the easier it is to remember & depend on the Lord. Lord will then guide what best you can do in a given situation or circumstance.

Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita 18.58

If you become conscious of Me, you will pass over all the obstacles of conditioned life by My grace. If, however, you do not work in such consciousness but act through false ego, not hearing Me, you will be lost.

Take your breaks regularly

There was a time when I felt that breaks were a waste of time. I assumed that by skipping my breaks unless it was absolutely necessary, I would be able to save a great deal of time and get more done – I would have an edge. I would work through lunch and rarely take breaks throughout the day.

In recent years, I’ve learned that a failure to take regular breaks is an enormous mistake that not only wears you down over time, but actually makes you less productive. While you may not even feel it at the time, slowly but surely your frustrations will sneak up on you. You’ll become less patient and attentive, and your concentration and listening skills will suffer.

I believe that the cumulative effects, over time, are also significant. You’ll burn out much more quickly, and your creativity and insights will slowly fade away.

Your breaks don’t have to be disruptive or last very long. Usually, all you need is a few minutes to clear your head, take some deep breaths, stretch your arms, or get some air. When you take this time – every couple of hours, or so – you’ll return to your work more enthusiastic, focused, and ready to go. It’s almost as though you push a “reset button” and you provide yourself with a fresh start.

I feel that by working a few less minutes each couple of hour and by taking regular mini breaks, I will work smarter, more efficiently and actually get more work accomplished.

Perfection of Life

When one goes to prison he has to put aside his usual dress and take the prison dress. Similarly, anyone who comes into this material world has to take a material body. This is the law. Unless you have this material body, how can you feel pleasure in material sense enjoyment? It is just like performing on stage: if you are going to play a certain part, you have to dress accordingly. Therefore, this material body is compared to a dress. For example, every lady and gentleman; every one of us; has a different dress.

But our dress is superficial. As human beings we are one. Similarly, each one of us has a different bodily dress, but spiritually we are one. And this is true of all living entities: they are in different bodily dresses only.

The dresses are calculated to total 8,400,000 different forms. In the water there are 900,000 different dresses, and there are 2,000,000 different types of trees and plants. There are 1,100,000 species of insects, 1,000,000 types of birds, 3,000,000 types of beasts, and 400,000 forms of human beings. In this way, the living entity is passing through different dresses.

And the best dress is this human form, because in this dress you can understand what God is, what you are, and what your relationship with God is. Then you can act in that relationship and go back home, back to Godhead. In this human form of dress you have developed consciousness.

But if you miss this opportunity to understand God, then again you will be put into the cycle of the evolutionary process. We should not, therefore, misuse this human form. We should utilize it properly to understand the unlimited God and our relationship with Him, and to act on this knowledge. That is the perfection of life.

Remember to Acknowledge

You can acknowledge others in many ways. When someone calls you, acknowledge the call. When they send you something, remember to say thank you. When someone does a good job, say so. When they apologize, acknowledge that too.

It’s especially important to acknowledge acts of kindness – doing so reinforces the act and encourages more of the same. We all benefit.

Almost everyone loves to be acknowledged. We love to have our phone calls returned, to be told we are doing a great job, to be thanked for working so hard, to have our creativity appreciated.

People remember acknowledgment and they appreciate it. When you need a favor, or advice, the fact that you have previously taken the time to acknowledge someone often comes back to help you. It makes others want to help you and to see you succeed.

Also, people who have been acknowledged genuinely and with love are very forgiving. They will see beyond your mistakes and failures and forgive you freely. Needless to say, all of this makes your life easier and far less stressful.